Mad Hatter Tea Party...2012

In previous years the Hatter has visited various members of the household. However Mr Lemon Drizzle remains un-hattered. Could this be his year? And if so how will he react to a wonderland of whimsy? (With his normal good humour?), we can only hope.

There was a faint drone of the children running and shouting in the garden, and the 'Mama' hiding in their bedroom, stealing a few minutes to play Bejewled on his iPod. "Ha" he thought "she will never beat my score!" So, he took a few minutes to stretch out on the couch with the weekend papers. He skimmed the guide and then opened the Review section but his eyes were closing and he couldn't keep them open, and to be honest, he didn't want to try. Soon he had assumed his customary Saturday position, and tried to catch forty winks.

But no sooner had he nodded off again than he heard a whisper in hie ear, 'Carpe diem...carpe diem'. He flicked his ear but it wouldn't stop.

"Do you mind, I am trying to get some sleep!"

"Come, it's party time!"

He opened his eyes and saw a strange man in front of him.

"Garr" he jumped!

"Come with me...now!"

He wasn't the kind of man to take orders, and he didn't like strange men in the house and he certainly didn't like parties. So he just closed his eyes and attempted to ignore it all. But try and resist as he might, his eyes strained to open, and, when he gave in, he found himself in a strange room, filled with flowers.

"Welcome" said the Hatter, "to our florabunda party."

"Florabunda! Seriously? In case it has slipped your notice, I'm a man, I'm a manly man, I don't do flowers. I eat salt and vinegar chip sticks and drink beer!"

Quick as a flash the little man jumped forward and started tickling him. "I think we have to cheer the grumbly bear up"

"Get off me," he slapped the Hatter's hand away, " I don't need cheering up, I just want to be left alone...to sleep"

"Have some cake" was the only reply and a flower shaped cookie was thrust into his hand. 

"It's OK, but what are the bits in it?"

"Lavender!"

"In a cake, that's not right? And this?" he asked pointing to a stack of unrecognizable goodies.

"Macaroons"

"They aren't macaroons. Even I know they should be shiny and crisp on the outside with a 'foot'. These are flat, dull, and holey."

"Yes, well, our chef blames the oven, she says it is impossible to make a macaroon in it...anyway moving swiftly on, what about a meringue, with cream and raspberry?"

"The devil's fruit!"

Chocolate cake?"

"With edible flowers? I don't think so"

"Parma violets, fondant roses?"

"I'm picking up a theme!"

"I know, a cake pop"

"Don't get me started...it's a cake...on a stick...it doesn't make it more fun. You can guarantee that after one bite it will crack and I will lose most of the cake on to the floor! It really is the most ridiculous cake-based idea, barring cake-in-a-jar, or even worse, a cake push pop. They are all just designed to make it harder to eat cake!"

The Hatter sighed, but continued to parade an seemingly endless supply of cakes, biscuits, ice cream and even jellies in front of the angry man. This was a most unusual teas party, normally his guests succumbed quickly, and willingly, to his mixture of whimsy and charm. Had he lost his touch?

On and on they went, until the Daddy could take it no more.

"Stop! Enough! I will eat something. Do you have any lemon drizzle cake?"

"Aha, yes, we have an excellent lemon drizzle cupcake."

"Well I would much prefer a good hearty slab of cake, but I suppose this will have to do."

He took a bit of the tiny dainty..it tasted absolutely delicious but then his teeth crunched down on to something hard and unyielding.

"What on earth is this? How irritating! A cherry, a cherry hiding in a lemon drizzle cake with the stone left in, have you no thought for tradition or the health of my teeth?"

The Hatter snapped his fingers. "Right, that's it! You have no appreciation of  whimsy or exceedingly good cake.!

"You're absolutely right, but I never claimed to, I just wanted a lie down. I think you may possibly have the wrong man, I don't care at all for whimsy."

"Right then, only one thing for it. Help me out Dormouse."

A small mouse crept up behind the man and knocked him on the head with a teapot.

He woke with a start, still on the couch, but now a small, insistent child was jumping up and down on him.

"Daddy, daddy wake up, wake up!"

"No, leave me alone, I was having a lovely dream, about the best cake ever!"

His wife passed by the door and rolled her eyes (she had been reading a certain book!). "I hope it was one of mine" She said jealously.

"Yes dear." He replied, and closed his eyes while a small child pummeled his chest, and in the distance a funny wee man laughed and laughed.

 Thankyou to Vanessa from A Fanciful Twist for hosting the Mad Hatters Tea Party. You can see hers here.

You can also see previous years parties (with less grumpy participants) here and here. And you can make your own toasted oatmeal ice cream with this recipe.

Thankyou for visiting Amelie's House. We look forward to visiting your parties

xxx

Mad Hatter's Tea Party 2011

She felt a twinge in her back as she pegged out the sheets. From inside the house she could hear shrieks of laughter as the children were playing a game: based on previous experience it sounded like there would be much to clean up later. The wind brushed against her cheek and sent a lock of hair over her eye, and as she flicked it away the sheet fell. Fortunately there had been no rain recently, and the dry earth didn't stain the fresh laundry.

Although hanging out the washing took much longer than shoving it all into the tumbledrier, she always preferred to do it as it gave her a few minutes to herself among the flowers .The garden wasn't perfect, she could see clumps of weeds in every aspect, but it was pretty and slightly wild. There was always an air of magic out here, and today was no exception with birds singing and bees buzzing...in fact there was a very loud buzz just near her ear.

She flicked it away but it came back even louder.

"Shoo" she said.

The bees were insistent, it almost seemed as if they were talking to her.

"Come and play with uzzzz...come and play..."

Was it the bees? Or the echo of her children running in the garden.

"You never have time to play with uzzzz..!"

It must be her children, that was their constant refrain. She impatiently swiped at the bees - rather too violently, and hit herself in the face. "Idiot!" she labeled herself, and then felt a bit woozy: had she clouted herself that hard?  She slumped onto the grass and closed her eyes...and suddenly it went silent.
Ahhh...peace! she thought.

As quick as that thought ran through her mind the peace was broken. There was an even louder buzzing, almost as if hundreds of little raspy voices were shouting at her

"Open your eyes!"
She did, and gasped.

Instead of her garden she was sitting in what could only be described as a bee hive! She was surrounded by hundreds of bees. And opposite her...not a bee, but a man. A man in a hat.

"Felicitations, and cavalcades of joy!" he exclaimed.

"Pardon?"

"Salutations"

"Sorry, but where am I?"

"Oh, for goodness sake, lady, just go with the whimsy! No questions: only fun and merriment."

"I don't just go with things, I meticulously plan and consider situations. I have a checklist of things I need to do before I can even leave the house. I never consider whimsy, and I certainly do not act spontaneously !"

A bee appeared with a bowl of small cakes.

"Madeleine.." it buzzed.

"Go on!" said the behatted man. "They're very good!"

The impossible magic of the situation persuaded her to take a cake from a stranger. She placed the whole little treat in her mouth.

"Mmmm!" It tasted of rosebuds and Summer. She imagined she were growing very tiny, or maybe getting bigger, or was she just melting away? She ate four more!

As she grinned a whole table full of cakes and dainties appeared in front of her.

"Dive in" suggested the man.

She looked at the delicious array in front of her. "Well, why ever not?" she said, and closed her eyes, grabbing the first thing her fingers touched: a lemon and raspberry muffin. It was quite delicious!

"I know!" The man in the hat said, as if he could read her mind. "The best you have ever tasted?"

She nodded in agreement while her eyes settled on a honey cake.

"It's a little known secret, but the bees are the best bakers in the world!"

And they certainly were - she tried each and every pastry, pie and sweet treat laid out in front of her, without ever feeling full.

Eventually the table was empty, and she lay back and sighed. The hum of the buzzing was sending her to sleep, and as she drifted away it seemed to take on a different tone...they were singing a lullaby for her.

Awaking with a start she found herself on the lawn, the children still raucously screaming, the birds still singing,   and the bees still buzzing.

"Ah well!" she sighed "Whimsy can't last for ever. Back to work!"

As she passed the dining room table, her arms full of sheets now dry, her eyes fell on an object that certainly hadn't been there when she went outside:

She retraced her steps to the back door, peeped out and whispered: "Thank you bees, until next year" and blew them a kiss.
xxx

You can spy on last years Mad Hatter's Tea Party here.

PS: There seems to be an awful lot of Mad Hatter's Tea Parties about today - you can find out why if you head over to A Fanciful Twist.