In previous years the Hatter has visited various members of the household. However Mr Lemon Drizzle remains un-hattered. Could this be his year? And if so how will he react to a wonderland of whimsy? (With his normal good humour?), we can only hope.
There was a faint drone of the children running and shouting in the garden, and the 'Mama' hiding in their bedroom, stealing a few minutes to play Bejewled on his iPod. "Ha" he thought "she will never beat my score!" So, he took a few minutes to stretch out on the couch with the weekend papers. He skimmed the guide and then opened the Review section but his eyes were closing and he couldn't keep them open, and to be honest, he didn't want to try. Soon he had assumed his customary Saturday position, and tried to catch forty winks.
But no sooner had he nodded off again than he heard a whisper in hie ear, 'Carpe diem...carpe diem'. He flicked his ear but it wouldn't stop.
"Do you mind, I am trying to get some sleep!"
"Come, it's party time!"
He opened his eyes and saw a strange man in front of him.
"Garr" he jumped!
"Come with me...now!"
He wasn't the kind of man to take orders, and he didn't like strange men in the house and he certainly didn't like parties. So he just closed his eyes and attempted to ignore it all. But try and resist as he might, his eyes strained to open, and, when he gave in, he found himself in a strange room, filled with flowers.
"Welcome" said the Hatter, "to our florabunda party."
"Florabunda! Seriously? In case it has slipped your notice, I'm a man, I'm a manly man, I don't do flowers. I eat salt and vinegar chip sticks and drink beer!"
Quick as a flash the little man jumped forward and started tickling him. "I think we have to cheer the grumbly bear up"
"Get off me," he slapped the Hatter's hand away, " I don't need cheering up, I just want to be left alone...to sleep"
"Have some cake" was the only reply and a flower shaped cookie was thrust into his hand.
"It's OK, but what are the bits in it?"
"In a cake, that's not right? And this?" he asked pointing to a stack of unrecognizable goodies.
"They aren't macaroons. Even I know they should be shiny and crisp on the outside with a 'foot'. These are flat, dull, and holey."
"Yes, well, our chef blames the oven, she says it is impossible to make a macaroon in it...anyway moving swiftly on, what about a meringue, with cream and raspberry?"
"The devil's fruit!"
"With edible flowers? I don't think so"
"Parma violets, fondant roses?"
"I'm picking up a theme!"
"I know, a cake pop"
"Don't get me started...it's a cake...on a stick...it doesn't make it more fun. You can guarantee that after one bite it will crack and I will lose most of the cake on to the floor! It really is the most ridiculous cake-based idea, barring cake-in-a-jar, or even worse, a cake push pop. They are all just designed to make it harder to eat cake!"
The Hatter sighed, but continued to parade an seemingly endless supply of cakes, biscuits, ice cream and even jellies in front of the angry man. This was a most unusual teas party, normally his guests succumbed quickly, and willingly, to his mixture of whimsy and charm. Had he lost his touch?
On and on they went, until the Daddy could take it no more.
"Stop! Enough! I will eat something. Do you have any lemon drizzle cake?"
"Aha, yes, we have an excellent lemon drizzle cupcake."
"Well I would much prefer a good hearty slab of cake, but I suppose this will have to do."
He took a bit of the tiny dainty..it tasted absolutely delicious but then his teeth crunched down on to something hard and unyielding.
"What on earth is this? How irritating! A cherry, a cherry hiding in a lemon drizzle cake with the stone left in, have you no thought for tradition or the health of my teeth?"
The Hatter snapped his fingers. "Right, that's it! You have no appreciation of whimsy or exceedingly good cake.!
"You're absolutely right, but I never claimed to, I just wanted a lie down. I think you may possibly have the wrong man, I don't care at all for whimsy."
"Right then, only one thing for it. Help me out Dormouse."
A small mouse crept up behind the man and knocked him on the head with a teapot.
He woke with a start, still on the couch, but now a small, insistent child was jumping up and down on him.
"Daddy, daddy wake up, wake up!"
"No, leave me alone, I was having a lovely dream, about the best cake ever!"
His wife passed by the door and rolled her eyes (she had been reading a certain book!). "I hope it was one of mine" She said jealously.
"Yes dear." He replied, and closed his eyes while a small child pummeled his chest, and in the distance a funny wee man laughed and laughed.
Thankyou to Vanessa from A Fanciful Twist for hosting the Mad Hatters Tea Party. You can see hers here.
You can also see previous years parties (with less grumpy participants) here and here. And you can make your own toasted oatmeal ice cream with this recipe.
Thankyou for visiting Amelie's House. We look forward to visiting your parties